


I just want to be perfect for you

by ayyeeeliam



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Bottom Harry, M/M, One Shot, One Shot Collection, Perfect, Top Louis, larry stylinson - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-27
Updated: 2015-12-27
Packaged: 2018-05-09 16:41:51
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,150
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5547695
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ayyeeeliam/pseuds/ayyeeeliam
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Where Harry loves Louis and he just wants Louis to love him back.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I just want to be perfect for you

"I'm going out, don't wait up for me," Louis announced before slamming the door shut.

A long sigh fell from Harry's lips. He wasn't really surprised by the situation. It had been like that for weeks, Louis would go out and didn't sleep at home, he returned in the morning, with women's perfume all over him, stains of red lipstick on either his neck or shirt.

Harry just brushed it all because it's not they were dating, sure they had a few share of hook-ups, nothing major, right? 

All lies.

Every time Louis would walk through the door, Harry's heart would break even more. Every day, Harry would tell himself that it meant nothing, he felt stupid to even think that Louis would ever be with him. 

Harry already knew what would be happening the next morning, Louis come in, greet Harry and then he would head upstairs to take a shower after he was done he would head back downstairs and join Harry who would be standing in the kitchen, making Louis' breakfast and while harry was busy Louis would flirt with him.

It isn't that Harry didn't want to stop Louis from hurting him, he just couldn't. He was in too deep, he let Louis play with him and use him like a toy. Harry still hoped Louis would change and fall in love with him. Like they say, hope is the last one to die, and let's just say that Harry took that saying by heart. He would wait for Louis for eternity.

From an outsider's view, Harry's decision to wait for Louis was stupid, dumb and a bit pitiful. But to Harry it made sense. If having casual sex with Louis every now and then would make him get attention from Louis then that's what he would do.

 

Harry simply stared at the closed door, his heart aching because he knew Louis would be with someone else, someone that wasn't Harry. 

Probably with a girl.

Someone Harry could never compete with. Maybe that's why Louis wouldn't love him. He was a boy. Harry looked at himself in the mirror, that was in the hall, and just observed. He didn't know what was wrong with him. He already had a lot of people compliment him and he liked to think that he wasn't that bad looking. Maybe he was too fat? Too tall?

Harry lifted his shirt and pinched the skin of his stomach, pulling it. He didn't understand why Louis didn't love him. Maybe he really was fat.

Harry was angry. He gave Louis everything. Louis was his first everything. Louis knew Harry better than Harry knew himself yet he treated Harry like he was some toy. 

Harry, frustrated, grabbed the nearest thing, which was a vase, and threw it against the wall. The sound of the vase shattering filled the house, pieces of the vase flying around the room. 

Tears started to fall down his face. He was crying because of a vase. A useless vase that was bought at a thrift shop. He sat next to the broken pieces of the vase and started gathering them together, tears still falling. If someone entered the room and saw Harry they would think he was crazy. He was seated, on the floor,  in the middle of the living room, with sharp, broken pieces around him. He was trembling due to the fact that he was crying. 

Harry was broken and he didn't know how much he could take. He was mentally exhausted. All he wanted was to be perfect so that Louis would love him, that's all he wanted. Unfortunately, it wasn't that easy.

Harry didn't know how long he had stayed in that position, with the remaining parts of the vase on his lap, his body still shaking, tears still spilling like waterfalls. He felt so stupid, he didn't know how he allowed himself to fall in love with Louis; how he was so dumb and careless. 

Harry checked the clock that was on the counter, it was already past midnight. He slowly lifted himself from the floor, tear filling up in his eyes which made it more difficult for Harry to see. He walked by the mess he had caused and walked up to the stairs, feeling emotionally drained. All he wanted to do was sleep and just wake up when Louis would give him attention and love. 

Harry wasn't even bothered to change into more comfortable clothes, he just slid under the fluffy and purple blanket, in skinny jeans and a black sweater. Soon enough, he drifted to sleep, pillow wet from his tears. 

**-**

When Louis stepped into the house, at nine in the morning, he expected to see the blinds open and a smiley Harry in the kitchen, ready to greet him with tea in hand. Instead, Louis got a dark room, only illuminated by the rays of the sun that came through the blinds, and Harry was nowhere to be seen. Silence filled the whole house which confused Louis to no end. He wondered if Harry was even at home. 

Louis took his shoes off and placed them by the front door and then he took his jacket off and threw it on the couch. He stood in front of the staircase, afraid of going upstairs. He took a deep breath and grasped the stair railing and walked up the stairs, hands starting to get wet from the sweat. He was a bit scared because he noticed the broken vase in the living room so either Harry broke it or they were robbed. At the thought, Louis practically ran up the remaining stairs and fastly went to Harry's room. 

He anxiously opened the door, only to find Harry sleeping, peacefully, on his bed. Louis stepped into the room and closed the door, he walked closer to Harry and saw him hugging the pillow, tightly. Louis let out a relieved breath. He decided to take a shower first and then he would wake Harry up so that they could talk. 

Louis took the fastest shower he had even taken. He was concerned, Harry wasn't one to sleep in. The latest he'd sleep in would be nine am, tops. Harry was an early person.

Louis quickly got dressed in a black sweater with matching sweatpants, he didn't bother putting socks on nor combing his hair. He returned to Harry's room and found him still sleeping. 

Louis got closer to the bed and sat next to Harry's body and softly shook him to wake him up. After a few pushed, Harry opened his eyes, blinking, confused by Louis' presence.

"What are you doing here?" Harry questioned, quickly sitting up. 

"Good morning to you too," Louis mocked, trying to loosen up the mood which he failed miserably because Harry only rolled his eyes and asked him again why Louis was in his room.

"I wanted to talk to you," Louis replied and lightly smiled at Harry, a little scared to ask Harry what happened.

Harry grumbled and pulled his covers closer to his body and laid back down.

"No, Harry. It's almost then."

After hearing that, Harry's eyes widened and he quickly sat back up and leaned against the headboard of his bed.

"Are you serious?" He asked Louis while he rubbed the palm of his hand against his closed eyes to get rid of the sleep.

"Dead serious, mate." Louis told him and moved to get closer to Harry and make himself feel more comfortable.

"What to you want, Louis?" Harry asked head tilted to his left, eyeing Louis suspiciously.

"What's wrong?" Louis asked instead.

"Nothing. Why are you asking?" Harry quickly lied, shifting in his bed and playing with the end of his sweater.

"Harry, you slept till ten am and there's a broken vase on the floor. I actually thought we were robbed, so something happened. You know you can tell me anything, don't you?"

"It's nothing, Louis. I just tripped and hit the vase. I was going to clean it, but I wasn't feeling well so I came to bed. I'll clean it in a bit." Harry answered, the lie slipping through his lips like it was nothing. 

"I don't fucking care about the vase Harry!" Louis' loud voice echoed through the room, causing Harry to flinch, definitely startled by Louis' outburst.

"I care about you, Haz." Louis added, quietly. " I care so much about you and I can't leave knowing that you're not okay and don't tell me you are because you aren't. I know you, Haz, so just talk to me," Louis pleaded and took Harry's hand in his.

"I don't want to talk about it," 

 _Not with you_ , Harry added mentally.

"Come on, Harry. I swear I won't get mad at you or anything. I just really want to help you." Louis tried again as he caressed Harry's hand, looking at him straight in the eyes.

Harry pulled his hand back away from Louis

"Why are you suddenly acting like you care?" Harry snapped.

"What?" Louis stared at Harry, not believing that those words came out of Harry's mouth.

"Are you kidding me, Harry? What is wrong with you? You're acting as if I never cared about you, like, fuck you, Harry. Fuck, I can't believe you right now." Louis was now on his feet and pacing around the room, arms flying around as he spoke. 

"You want to know what's wrong with me? It's you, Louis. You're my problem, Louis"

At that, Louis stopped moving. For a moment, Harry thought Louis had stopped breathing. Louis just stood there frozen. 

After a while, he slowly turned around to face Harry.

"I'm the problem?" He asked, his voice trembling. 

Harry stayed silent. He was already regretting the fact that he even said anything. Louis looked so small, so fragile like it hurt him to ask that question.

"Harry, I asked you something. Am I really the problem?" Louis pressed again as he leaned against the wall and stared at Harry who as still on the bed.

"Yes, alright!" Harry raised his voice and threw the pillow somewhere in the room. "It's you, Louis! I can't fucking avoid thinking about you. Fuck, Louis, I have to stay up all night, thinking about how you're fucking some girl, somewhere. Do you know how that feels? You're driving me crazy. What do they have that I don't? I keep questioning myself, why can't I be perfect so that you can love me? Tell me, Louis, what's wrong with me?" Harry was crying by the time he had finished. 

Harry couldn't believe he even said that but the cat was now out of the bag and there was no turning back, and he had never felt so relieved as he felt at the moment.

Louis stood back, silent and definitely shocked. He wasn't expecting that. What he did next surprised both himself and Harry. He just shook his head and left the room. Harry's heart shattered even more. He heard the front door slam shut and tears poured down his face, once again.

He screwed it up, he ruined everything. Harry's mind drifted to all the things he would have to do now. He would have to move out, change his phone number, and probably find a new job since his new job was just around the corner. He would have to cut all contact with Louis.

Harry started to cry even harder as he continued to think about everything. He was sad, furious and heartbroken. He felt like he couldn't breathe.

Then it hit him. He was having a panic attack and he was home, all alone. The thought made harry panic even more. He tried to inhale and exhale, but it wasn't working. Now, he was really panicking. He ran, as fast as he could, to the bathroom and opened every drawer, searching for his inhaler. Once he found it he immediately pumped it, taking a deep breath. He leaned against the cold tiles of the bathroom's wall, his body sliding down the wall. 

He spent the following minutes taking deep breaths and pushing any thought of Louis away. 

Would a panic attack really be the cause of Harry's death? To say he was scarred for the rest of his life was an understatement, really.

Once he started to breathe normally, tears started to fall again. He felt incredibly pathetic for having a panic attack over something so stupid. 

Harry lifted himself from the floor and put his inhaler back in the drawer. He then walked down the stairs, not bothering to pick up the long forgotten pieces of the vase he had broken the night before. He entered the kitchen and poured water into a glass. He took the glass and carried his own weight back to his room.

**-**

Harry didn't know how long it had been since Louis left, but all he did was sit in front of the big mirror, in his room, questioning every little part of his body.

He was too fat, he concluded. Maybe if he started a diet and started working out, Louis would find him beautiful. He bet all those girls that Louis fucked were skinny and beautiful, everything that Harry wasn't. Hours passed and Harry continued to stare at his reflection in the mirror, he couldn't bring himself to move not to look away, it was like he was in a trace, stuck. 

Harry didn't blame Louis for not loving him. Harry wouldn't love himself eight. He was hideous. He didn't blame Louis for wanting someone prettier.

He inhaled deeply, tears still streaming down his face. He felt like a baby, crying over something like that, but it hurt so bad. He was hurting so bad.

He officially lost Louis. Harry couldn't help but think that Louis was disgusted by him.

He sighed at his ridiculous state and gathered the strength to lift himself off the floor and to walk over to his bed. On the way, he knocked over the glass, that was now empty, wich, thankfully, didn't break. Harry lifted the blankets and slid under them and tucked himself in. 

It was already six pm and Harry was starting to get worried about Louis, who had been out all day. 

Did he go fuck some girl right after Harry confessed his love for him? Harry couldn't help but think that Louis was indeed with a girl.

After worrying his ass off, Harry finally fell asleep, clutching his pillow close to his chest, the ache in his heart temporarily disappearing. 

**-**

Louis arrived home a couple hours after Harry fell asleep. Louis spent the whole day at his mother's house. He was confused and the only person who could help him was his mother.

He stopped in front of Harry's door and took a deep breath, slowly twisting the door handle and pushing the door open. he walked in and saw Harry sleeping with the pillow still pressed against his chest.

Louis took his shoes off and made his way to Harry's bed. He lifted the blanket and joined Harry. He felt Harry stir as he slipped his hand across Harry's waist and pulled him closer. Louis caressed Harry's cheek, in hoped of waking him up.

Louis succeeded because seconds later Harry woke up, rubbing his face. He nearly jumped from the bed when he felt Louis' hand.

Harry's eyes widened when he spotted Louis, pressed against him, smiling.

"What-what are you doing here?" Harry asked, his brain seemed to not be functioning right or it simply wasn't collaborating with him to help hi understand the situation.

"Do you want me to leave, then?" Louis joked, a lovely smirk danced on his lips.

"No!" Harry almost yelled as he reached forward to stop Louis from moving.

Louis only chuckled and shook his head.

He stared at Harry, taking in every feature of his face. His beautiful and perfect face.

It all happened so fast.

Harry just saw Louis lean forward and pull him by his neck and suddenly they were kissing. Harry's eyes almost fell out of their sockets. He couldn't wrap his brain around what was happening. He felt Louis' tongue against his lips and he reacted instantly by parting his lips, allowing Louis to explore Harry's mouth all he wanted.

Harry was feeling euphoric. Sure, they kissed before a couple times but nothing could compare to this. The kiss was filled with emotion and passion.

Harry whined when Louis started to pull back, disconnecting their lips.

"Is this a dream? Am I dreaming?" Harry asked, tracing Louis' lips with his fingers. He had on hand on Louis' shoulder and the other on Louis' lips, looking deep into his blue eyes.

Louis felt bad after hearing Harry's words.

"It's not a dream, Harry. I'm here." He held Harry's hand and pressed a kiss on it.

"Are you going to leave me again?" Harry asked, his voice breaking.

Louis just kept kissing Harry's hand, he then pulled Harry up so that he'd be straddling him. 

Harry looked at Louis deep into his eyes. Green meeting blue. Louis shook his head.

"I'm here to stay,"

Harry nodded, satisfied with Louis' answer and pulled him in for a hug. Harry then started to leave mouth-opened kissed down Louis' neck, grinding his hips, not so subtly. Shivers went ran down Harry's spine when Louis' jerked his hips up to meet the movement of Harry's hips.

Harry pressed their foreheads together and connected their lips. The kiss heated up and the movement of their hips was unstoppable. Suddenly, the room was too hot.

"C-clothes," Harry mumbled against Louis' lips.

Louis nodded, understanding what Harry meant and grabbed the ends of his sweater pulling it up. Harry raised his hands to help Louis. As soon as his sweater was off he lunged forward to kiss Louis.

A loud moan slipped from his lips as he pressed his crotch against Louis'. They were both achingly hard.

"Fuck, Harry. You're so beautiful." Louis grasped harry's hair and pulled his head back and prepped little kissed on his neck, biting every now and then, marking the skin. Marking Harry as his and only his.

Louis' hand slipped under Harry's knees and he flipped them so that he was the one on top now. He took his shirt off, throwing it somewhere in the room. He kissed Harry's collarbones, going down to his chest and stopping on his nipples.

Louis locked eyes with Harry and pressed a wet kiss on Harry's nipple. Harry shivered, moaning loud as his back arched. Harry had the most sensitive nipples Louis had ever seen and he loved it. 

"Lou, Lou..." Harry breathed out as Louis flicked his tongue around his nipple.

Louis hummed with Harry's nipple still between his lips making Harry's whole body tremble with pleasure.

"Clothes, Lou. Oh, shit. T-there's t-to much clothing." Harry rasped out, fingers on Louis' hair, lightly pulling it.

Louis' fingers trembled as he messily tried to take Harry's jeans.Harry lifted his hips, allowing Louis to pull the pants down his legs, along with his boxers. Harry's erection sprung free, red and leaking. Louis quickly got rid of his own pants, eyeing intensely Harry's cock.

Harry gripped the sheets, eyes closing, as Louis' lips sucked in the head of Harry's cock.

"Open your eyes, Harry," Louis demanded, his breath fanning Harry's cock making him whimper and slowly open his eyes.

Harry felt so overwhelmed. The room was so hot and Harry could pass out just by seeing Louis with his cock between his lips.

Louis tapped Harry's thigh and signaled Harry to look at him. 

"I-I'm watching, Lou"

Louis gripped both of Harry's thighs and hollowed his cheeks, getting as much of Harry's cock as possible into his mouth. Harry watched ad Louis bobbed his head up and down, engulfing him in wet heat.

The sound of Harry's cock sliding in and out of Louis' mouth and the heavy breaths coming from Harry filled the entire room.

Louis was now licking harry's cock like it was a lollipop. harry was going crazy as he saw Louis tongue slick up his cock and licking the pre cum.

Harry could already feel the heat pooling low in his abdomen so he cried out for Louis to stop, letting him know that he would cum any tie soon.

"Already? I'm not even halfway done with you," Louis teased, moving up to kiss Harry.

Before Harry could heat up the kiss Louis pulled away. harry whined at the sudden loss and pouted.

Harry laid back, his long hair sprawled around him, he watched as Louis moved to get the lube and a condom. 

Louis smirked when he saw that harry was watching him slick up his fingers with lube, hungrily.

He pushed Harry's legs apart and Harry slightly jumped at the feeling of  Louis' fingers applying the cold lube in his hole. 

"Ready?" Louis asked, checking if Harry was okay.

Harry was so overwhelmed that he couldn't even speak so he just nodded. His cock laid against his stomach, aching, begging to get some attention.

Harry's breath hitched when he felt Louis insert one finger inside him, soon enough the second finger made its way into Harry, stretching him. Louis slid a third finger hitting straight on Harry's prostate.

Harry's back arched, loud moaning falling from his lips.

"F-fuck, Louis. That's it, right there. Oh, fuck!" Harry whimpered at how good he felt.

He looked down and saw Louis' cock leaking.

"I'm ready, Lou. Just- just get in me, already" Harry begged.

Louis took his fingers out and ripped the condom pack, sliding it on his cock, with a whimpering Harry watching him. He quickly lubed his cock and positioned himself between harry's legs.

He intertwined his and Harry's fingers and pressed a kiss on his lips.

"Ready?" He asked Harry who just nodded and squeezed Louis' hand.

Louis slowly thrust, head getting caught on Harry's hole making both moan loudly. Louis stood still until Harry gave him permission to continue.

"Y-You can move. I'm good" Harry choked out.

Louis slid in until he bottomed out. He started moving his hips slowly and then picked up his pace. Louis rested his head on Harry's shoulder and kissed his jawline, groaning at how good Harry felt around him.

"You're so tight, Harry. So fucking good," 

His hips snapped forward as he pounded into Harry's.

"Y-you make feel so good, Louis. Feel so good with you inside me. Fuck me hard, Louis, c'mon." Harry sobbed, quivering as he raked his nails down Louis' back, leaving marks.

,

"Oh, fuck, oh, God, fuck yeah, just like that, fucking Christ," Harry whimpered in ecstasy. 

Harry could feel Louis pulsing inside him which meant he was close. Harry pulled Louis' hair connecting their lips. the kiss was messy and hot, teeth were clashing, but they could care less.

"I'm so close, Louis. I'm gonna cum, fuck" Harry warned, breathless.

"Me too, Haz. Shit, me too." And with that Louis snapped his hips even faster slamming straight into Harry's prostate making him scream out in pure bliss.

"Oh, God, that feels so good, Lou. Fuck, I'm gonna cum, Lou!"

Louis stroked Harry's cock, squeezing tightly.

"Cum, harry. Cum for me," 

With two more strokes, Harry came with a moaning loudly Louis' name. Harry felt like he was on fire. A fire of pleasure.

After a few more thrusts Louis also came, spilling his load into the condom.

He fell on top of Harry, both sweaty bodies melting against each other. Pants filled the room along with the smell of sex.

"That was..." Harry breathed out still drowning in pleasure. He suddenly felt hazy and exhausted.

"Bloody amazing" Louis finished.

Harry weakly laughed, eyes slowly shutting. Louis pushed himself off of Harry and fell beside him.

"I'm tired," 

"Sleep, Harry. I'll clean you up, alright?"

"Will- will you be here when I wake up?" Harry asked, eyes shut.

Louis leaned down to press a kiss on Harry's lips.

"I'll be here when you wake up and I'll even eat you out once you wake up, how does that sound?" Louis offered.

"Bloody amazing," harry replied, using Louis' words from before.

Louis laughed and pecked Harry's forehead before he got up to get a wet rag to clean himself and Harry.

When Louis returned, Harry was fast asleep. Louis chuckled and cleaned Harry before he cleaned himself. He threw the rag on the floor and joined his boy in bed, pulling him closer and tracing little patterns on his hip.

"I love you, Harry. I think I have loved you ever since I laid my eyes on you. You're perfect for me, always have been and always will be," Louis whispered to a sleeping Harry before he covered the both them and snuggled close to the beautiful boy in his arms. 

 

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> this was my first one-shot ever and my first time writing smut, so I apologize if it was shitty. I hope I get better as I keep writing. I really hope I can improve. Thank you for reading, even though it was quite... ew lol  
>  Please let me know what you thought of it :)
> 
> If you want to contact me follow me on twitter :) @ayyeeeliam
> 
> Thank you xx


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